In Progress...

We've become acclimated to a condition we should never have gotten used to: a stagnant pool of religious forms and sentimentality along with buckets full of cultural legalism. Inoculated with enough "god-speak" to immunize our consciences, we can't hear the thunderous river of God's grace roaring invitingly in the Bibles we read and the hymns we sing -- a grace that beckons us to enter, be washed, adn set freel. Let's face it, apart from God's Spirit mightily at work in our hearts, we're morons!
Either out of ignorace or unbelief or quiete possibly both, we simply have precious little firsthand experience with the magnitude of our Father's love for his people. And some of us are simpl y not concerned about the whole matter because we've been seduced and dulled by affairs of the heart.
But lacking awareness of our need does not diminish it's intensity. We desperately need to have the eyes of our hearts opened to the magnitude of God's love reveled in Jesus Christ.

From "Object's of His Affection" by Scotty Smith

Labels: For Discussion...

Favorite Post #1. Understanding how metrosexual your worship leader is.

Don't answer that last question. It was rhetorical. As a service to churches around the world, here is an easy rating system by which to analyze to what degree your worship leader is a metrosexual.

1. Has a faux hawk hair style = +1

2. Has more product in his hair than your wife = +1

3. Has Rob Bell, black rimmed glasses = +1

4. They are not prescription, but just for effect = +2

5. Attends the Catalyst Conference = +3

6. Performs at the Catalyst Conference = +10

7. Owns Puma, Vans or Diesel sneakers = +2 per each pair

8. Wears jeans on stage = +1

9. Wears designer jeans on stage = +2

10. Wears Wrangler or Rustler jeans on stage = -3

11. Has a goatee = +2

12. Wears one of those Castro revolution looking hats = +2

13. Drinks coffee on stage = +1

14. Drinks some kind of coffee you did not know existed = +2

15. Brings a French Press on stage and makes his own coffee during service = +5

16. Has a handlebar mustache = -3

17. Good at Frisbee but hates getting all "sweaty" = +1

18. Has a haircut that covers one of his eyes while singing = +1

19. Owns a white belt = +2

20. Owns suspenders = -3

21. Wears a scarf with a t-shirt = +1

22. Wears a winter knit hat even in the summer = +2

23. You think he covered a My Chemical Romance song last week = +3

24. Drives an Audi or VW, silver of course = +2

25. Uses the words, "postmodern, relevant" or "emergent" nonstop = +2

26. Cringes a little when people say the "H word." (Hymnal) = +3

27. Has ever said some form of the phrase, "That song is so 1990s" = +1

28. Owns a Grizzly Adams red and black flannel shirt = -2

29. Named his kid after a color or a number = +2

30. References Norwegian punk bands you've never heard of = +2

31. Wears a tie = -1

32. Wears a tie as a belt = +2

33. Looks as if he might exfoliate = +2

34. Has a man bag or European Carry All = +2

35. Brings said bag on stage with him = +2

36. Has a tattoo = +2

37. Has a visible tattoo = +4

38. Wife accompanies him on stage and plays tambourine = -4

39. Was formerly in a punk new wave band = +2

40. Knows the names of all the people on the scripted MTV show, "the Hills" = +3

41. Refuses to drink anything but Vitamin Water = +2

42. Your wife ever says, "he needs a barrette for his hair." = +2

43. Has a nickname with "the" in it, as in "the edge," = +2

44. Owns every Nooma video = +2

45. Has a soul patch = +3

46. Won't play barefoot on stage until he gets a pedicure = +2

47. Refers to California as "the left coast" = +2

48. Currently subscribes to Dwell or Details magazine = +2

49. Owns a pair of lady jeans = +2

50. Twitters you from his iPhone = +2

51. His toddler dresses cooler than you = +2

52. He wears graphic t-shirts over button down, long sleeve shirts = +2

53. Ever says "we got a hot mic here" = -4

54. Shops at the Gap = 0

55. Shops at Urban Outfitters = +2

I scored one of the worship leaders at North Point and he did pretty well. At some point I will do a lady version, but for right now, I feel like a 55 item list of analyzing worship leaders is enough to earn me a new batch of "you are weird" emails, and at the end of the day, that's all I can ask for.

What does your worship leader score?

To interpret the scores and know what they mean, check out the official score sheet.

Labels: Fun

Favorite Post #10. Not Knowing Which Meals to Pray Before

You don't have to pray before you eat something that has nougat in it.

A lot of people don't know that but if you look deep enough into the Old Testament you'll find the Hebrew word for nougat which is "chonoug." A lot of seminaries aren't teaching that, which is a shame, a dang shame.

I'm kidding of course, but these are the kinds of conversations I have with my friends. Especially when it comes to praying before meals. That's such a murky subject which is why I've created the "Stuff Christians Like Guide to Food Prayers." Print it out and put it in your purse or wallet for the next time you have a question about proper food prayers.

SCL Guide to Food Prayers:

1. The Stand Up Rule
If you have to stand up while eating, you don't have to pray. Regardless of what you are eating, standing up makes the food feel very light and insignificant. It's impossible to cut anything while standing too. You end up just spearing chunks of fruit or meat awkwardly while trying to keep the plate from tipping over onto the carpet, further upsetting the hosts whose dog you just made urinate on the couch because you got it too excited at the Christmas Eve party. That just got personal, but trust me, no prayer required here. Use this easy rhyme to remember: "if you can't sit, prayer forget it, if you have to stand, God understands."

2. Wedding food
This rule actually works for any big event where one person prays for the whole room. Listen carefully to that person's prayer. If it's good, dig in. If it's a little weak, you better double up and pray for yourself just to be sure. No offense to the other person, but it's better safe than sorry. Plus, it makes you look extra holy which is never a bad thing if you're single and trying to meet a bridesmaid.

3. Drive in
This actually depends on which fast food restaurant you go to. If you go to Chick-fil-A or In-n-Out you probably don't have to pray because those are Christian restaurants and the holiness is applied like barbecue sauce to the food items. You're covered. Taco Bell, Burger King and other restaurants are questionable. At the bare minimum, turn your back in the car while they use that bean and guacamole gun at Taco Bell and say a prayer. Chances are you'll need it. (By the way, if you're partaking in Taco Bell's "Fourth Meal" or the food they feed you between dinner and breakfast, you better pray. Lots. You've just introduced a grilled, toasted, roasted, 17 layer, bean bandalero to your stomach at 2 in the morning.)

4. Progressive Dinner
A progressive dinner is where you travel with people from house to house having one course at each. The question is, where and when do you pray? Is it before the first house or at each house? Good question. I pray at the beginning and then at each house that serves something that might need a little God. When I used to be a bag boy at a grocery store we called it "spot mopping." You didn't mop the whole floor, just the few areas that needed it. Same thing applies here. If one house has a fresh mandarin spinach salad, hold the prayer. If the next one has some sort of homemade sausage that may or may not be squirrel, you better start praying.

5. Gas Station Snacks
Nougat? No prayer. Beef jerky? Depends. If you do regular jerky, no problem, you don't have to pray. If you do that jerky, cheese marriage thing where there's a tube of orange cheese spooning the jerky, you better pray. Or if the logo on the bag is a guy in overalls or a barrel with rope suspenders, you should pray.

6. Before or After Appetizers
The best way to get a waiter or waitress to come to your table is to start praying. They'll materialize out of thin air like some sort of prayer interrupting phantoms. I suggest praying in the parking lot before you get in the restaurant. That way, you eliminate any possible chance of the staff trying to crash your prayer party.

7. Eating contests
I weigh about 160. A few years ago, a coworker challenged me to an eating contest at Fuddrucker's, a hamburger joint. I accepted and ended up doing just fine in the "1lb throwdown." I was able to stomach a one pound cheeseburger without a problem. But then he suggested we do a "2lb showdown." Have you ever seen two pounds of meat on a plate? It was gross. It was like eating two 1lb meat Frisbees. I finished it, but ended up getting the meat sweats and eventually throwing up at work. I am dumb. If you ever find yourself in an eating contest, please pray. Constantly.

I hope today when you sit down for lunch or dinner you'll consider these pearls of wisdom. I also hope that you won't take this seriously and email me with comments like "how dare you tell people not to pray when they eat nougat. You heathen."

Labels: Fun

Labels: Fun, Media

I would like to start a student led worship team that would lead worship once a month for MIDWEEK. I need all kinds of students, with all different abilities... do you sing? We could use you! Do you play piano/guitar/drums/bass/the triangle? We could use you! Do you like technology? We def. could use you!

Please contact Josh with any interest you may have...

Labels: Future Plans

Labels: Fun, Media

#502. Confessing "Safe Sins"
Have you ever been in a small group with people that confess safe sins? Someone will say, “I need to be honest with everyone tonight. I need to have full disclosure and submit myself in honesty. Like ODB from the Wu-Tang Clan, I need to give it to you raw!” So you brace yourself for this crazy moment of authenticity and the person takes a deep breath and says … “I haven’t been reading my Bible enough.”

Ugh, you, dirty, dirty sinner. I’m not even sure I can be in a small group with you any more. Not reading your Bible enough, that is disgusting. And then once he’s gone someone else will catch the safe sin bug too and will say, “I need to be real too. I haven’t been praying enough.”

Two of you in the same room? Wow, freak shows! I can barely stand it.

But what happens when people start confessing safe sins is that everyone else in the room starts concealing their real junk. I mean if I was surrounded by confessions like that in the eighth grade I would have instantly known I couldn’t follow the “not reading my Bible enough” guy with my own story:

“Soooo, this weekend when it was snowing I told my parents I was going to the dump to sled but instead I was really just digging through a 200 foot mountain of warm trash looking for pornography.” And the same principle would have applied to me in my late 20s. I wouldn’t have been honest sharing my struggles with Internet porn if everyone else confessed their “safe enough for small group” sins.

And that sucks. It sucks that as broken as we all are, as desperate as we all are for a Savior, we feel compelled to clean ourselves up when we get around each other.

But this blog has taught me something unbelievable. If I stop writing tomorrow, this will be the lesson I cling to the most.

When you go first, you give everyone in your church or your community or your small group or your blog, the gift of going second.

It’s so much harder to be first. No one knows what’s off limits yet and you’re setting the boundaries with your words. You’re throwing yourself on the honesty grenade and taking whatever fall out that comes with it. Going second is so much easier. And the ease only grows exponentially as people continue to share. But it has to be started somewhere. Someone has to go first and I think it has to be us.

We’re called to give the gift of second to the people in our lives. To live the truth, to share the truth, to be the truth.

Let’s give the gift of going second.

Labels: For Discussion...